last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
