the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
