I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im holly from the hills drunk
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
