Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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