We named our party play list daddy issues
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
