There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
