They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
