Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
