Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
