So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
