dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
