Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
