you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
