I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
