he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
