my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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