i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
