I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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