i don't like sucking hair
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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