I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
