I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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