I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
