one two three fourrrrnication!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
