Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
