there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
