I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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