Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
