Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
