Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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