Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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