The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
