I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
