Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
