oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
