I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
