don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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