Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
