Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
