Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
