Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
