3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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