I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
