You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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