Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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