I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
