I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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