Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
