Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
