Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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