You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize