Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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