I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
