I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
