First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
